Thursday, June 5, 2008,6:16 PM
bullies,betrayers and other shitty things
wjust came up from the playground with a busted knee and a sore head.
seriously. the first 2 hours were okay;just played poison ball with my soccer ball. Then K & S came downstairs. that wasnt so bad either, coz we just ignored them and continued the challenge.
until they decided to harass me, that is.
it was smart. they did it VERYY gradually. first they moved in my space. then, when WE moved to under the block newly cemented, they followed us and stayed in one side while we played soccer.
then, ding ding ding. they asked to play. that was it. play.
then they grabbed the ball and ran.
i was like FCUK FCUK FCUK. you see, they have been bullying me for what, the past 3 years? and this is the fourth year running. it is bloody irritating when bullies, or morons for that matter, just will not give up.
so can you blame me for not charging after them like i would've two years ago?
i mean, i am tired, okay? i am freaking tired of their lame acts and their habit of hitting anyone younger and their sucking up to anyone older and their pervertic jokes and their way of twisting words around. i am TIRED, full stop.
thank god one of the girls went after the ball and retrieved it or i would have probably left them to gloat over the ball and leave.
i'm not saying everyone tired of bullies taking their stuff should leave it be. i am lucky, plain LUCKY, that they are so used to me that they are not open to new people and let their guard down. hence, a girl what, two years younger, could get the ball from sec 2s +.
so, i bought H2O and shared it with 3 people:me, because it's my money, the girl, because she got the ball, and my bro, coz he lost the 50cents i gave him.
turns out i shouldnt have shared it with my bro.
honestly. sometimes people just cannot get gratitude. i share H2O with him, and what does he do? become so overprotective of the bloody ass ball that he wouldn't let it within a 3 meter radius of K and S and S2.
i wanted the ball to stay-if i had moved the ball away, it would just give them more excuse to jeer. plus i have a rep to protect.
yes, a rep. as sad as i am to admit it...
okay.full story, aight? when i was p4, i met WK, who was p5 then. then HE intro-ed me to K. i became one of them. meaning i was in their little gang. i am very sad to say that i once was considered one of them. inner, closest. whichever.
there are tons of ranks in the M gang. the lowest is servant, or slave. the highest is m god, followed by m king and m queen.
WK was m god. K was m king. i was m queen.
m queen. i get goosebumps when i look at those two words. i was their queen. the queen of a gang made up of 30 people.
then they started the pervertic part. now, that was the part i couldn't stand. i am NOT, i repeat, NOT a dirty person, and that was the limit. they can toe the line, but when it comes to that kind of shit, i WANT OUT.
and want out i did. i got out of the gang, basically by not going down to the playground anymore. didn't work. although i was out, my bro was still in. guys...they just don't get pervertic things. they don't get how DISGUSTING it is discussing it.
sad to say they became chummy, K and gang kept on coming up to our house to demand for my bro to go downstairs or whatever. i recall an incident when my bro called my father to ask if he could go play with em and my father, as he knew what IDIOTS K and gang were, presented my bro with two options: go down and not play comp for a month, or be able to play comp but not go down.
my brother chose the first.
i still think it's dumb, and i think i always will, coz it's just simple. you KNOW they are morons, why waste your time? and have no computer for a month thrown into the bargain. i think i would just tell the whole lot to fcuk off and slam the door in their face.
but that's just me, i guess.
so anyway. where was i.
oh yea. the rep thingy.
you could say there was a sort of....ahem, fight for me to get out-they don't let people go easily. to tell you the truth, i couldn't go down to the playground in peace anymore. CONFIRM the m gang will be there-they consider the playground as their forte.
even now, they like to bully me. coz K says that i am the hardest person to convince he has ever met. and i'm also known to withstand pain to EXTREME circumstances. i feel it, yea, but i dont ever burst out crying or screaming. i hold it in. it's from years of training-growing up with a younger bro who is not just rude but likes to whack you too.
hey, maybe that's why i am substancial to emotional pain. you have to feel SOME pain somewhere right? so instead of it being physical for me, it's emotional!
but still. today. K cornered me in the end. he, S and S2 asked me if i saw a bitch anywhere. that was really the end of it. i got up, retrieved my slippers and went off.
you know, i still remember the day i first met WK. i was crying (i was p4) behind the blocks. then WK saw me and was all, "tears of joy". it worked-i started laughing. next year i found out that "tears of joy" was in the p5 English syllabus. the textbook had a whole chapter on descriptive phrases.
but here's the irony: despite everything they've done to me-bullying,etc,etc-i don't hate them. it's not that i like them either, but i just can't summon anything remotely passionate. it's too hard to hate them.
oh man, this is gonna sound way cliche, but i think that the reason i don't hate them is because i'm too tired. i am bloody SICK of them. plus it's tough to hate someone you've known and was once close to. i don't hate K, despite him being the leader. i don't hate S, despite him being a plain moron. i especially don't hate WK, despite him being a bloody backstabber.
but if they try to take away my ball again, they'd better watch it.
