ooo pathetique
Quote: Sometimes you have to let go to see if there was anything worth holding on to.
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Saturday, March 28, 2009,12:38 PM

Comebacks to crappy pickup lines!-(Hilarious)

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing".

Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the mental hospital."

Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?"
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."

Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."

Man: "Can I buy you a drink?"
Woman: "Actually I'd rather have the money."

Man: "How did you get to be so beautiful?"
Woman: I must have been given your share.

Man: "Your face must turn a few heads."
Woman: "And your face must turn a few stomachs."

Man: "Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out."
Woman:" Okay, get out."

Man:" I think I could make you very happy."
Woman: "Why? Are you leaving?"

Man: "What would you say if I asked you to marry me?"
Woman: "Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time."

Man: "Can I have your name?"
Woman: "Why? Don't you already have one?"

Man: want to see a movie?
Woman: I've already seen one.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

OMG, i am so addicted to this kinda crap. Seriously. I wanna try some of these. Especially the last one.

Where have you been all my life?
Hiding from you.
12:33 PM


Have you ever heard that stupidity is a virus? Careful you might catch it! Ahh, too late...
Shove it in, shove it in.
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
I don't suffer from insanity I enjoy every minute of it.
Perfection is a waste of time.
Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; I'm not sure about the universe.
You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.
God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made women.
I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I was aiming for your face
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.
When you’re down I may not be able to pick you back up, but I promise I’ll be willing to lie down right next to you.
Death is God's way of saying you're fired. Suicide is humans way of saying you can't fire me, I quit.
Tired of living and scared of dying.
Scared to remember, terrified to forget.
I hear your silence loud and clear.
Children in frontseats can lead to accidents. Accidents in backseats can lead to children.
Why do today what you could put off till tomorrow?
How can i miss you if you never left?
I'm not with stupid anymore!
Education is important, school however, is another matter.
Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more.
Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them.
Don’t mess with me I've got a stick.
I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends
Boys are like Slinky's, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.
Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable
Boys are like skateboards, they can go fast but usually there pretty slow.
Boys are like knives, usefull but they'll cut you eventually. (cough, cough Edward cough, cough)
If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving.
I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse
You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.
You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.
Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't
I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either.
Don't follow in my footsteps, I tend to walk into walls
Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?'Hold my purse.'
93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If I'm part of the 7 percent who would ask the person,"What was your first clue?"

Benefits of being a woman-Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours.

We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.

We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.

We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions.

I read this and I was laughing like hell, especially the ones in bold and italic. So funny.