Monday, June 30, 2008,4:39 PM
my final wish
why can't people just get it? i'm bloody tired. it's been a tiring day it's been a tiring month. so half of it was in holidays. the remaining went up in smoke.
i saw someone i knew break down and cry. not just that, he hit a guy 5 years younger who insulted him.
then i saw his older brother stand by and do nothing. oh yeah, did i mention the fact that i once looked up to this guy due to his superior playing?
well, now you know.
not to mention the fact that i am so pissed right now. is he going to start coming down everyday or what? bad enough i always see him on saturdays and sundays but i never work up the guts to talk or god forbid, play with him.
even worse if he shows up EVERY DAY playing soccer in school uni.
like, what the hell man. sometimes people just don't know when to quit. my hobby used to be playing soccer with anyone who happens to pass by, now it's watching lightning in the sky, as demoed yesterday during a particular no-rain-lightning-only dry storm.
and so, yes, i'm exhausted. i'm tired of other people feeling sorry for me, i'm tired of people trying to give me advice but failing, i'm tired of missing him, i'm tired of everything.
and above that, i'm SICK. SICK & TIRED & stinking sure as hell FED-UP with seeing other people have bad days. coz i know they think i'm having it fine.
i am sick as hell. i'm sick of missing him and i'm sick of feeling like a cheater for missing him when i'm supposed to have given up on him.
not to mention the fact i keep on seeing someone's crying face in my head. he's not related to me, but for some weird reason i feel like a older sister to him. i've seen him from p2 to p5. yes, he became a freaking big mouth, but still. i've become very emotionally attached to him.
that's why names are not mentioned. i know half the people reading this if they've bothered to don't know him only by description. i'm not going to humiliate him by mentioning his name.
god damn it. i've still got 13 pieces of homework to do.
